The Do's and Don'ts of Writing for the Public:
 "Dime-sized" rather than "1.5 centimeters"
 by Rachel Wilder

Reprinted from Talking and Writing to the Public, A Special Report, produced for the Dana Alliance Member News by the Dana Press. (revised 2003)

"You can't say the word molecule on TV!" the Merv Griffin Show producer shouted as he prepared me to go on the air and discuss the sex lives of animals - from moths to birds to humans. I was stunned. As a staff writer for the magazine Science Digest, I was used to simplifying complicated concepts for a popular audience. Yet I didn't realize that, as one survey found, one out of three Americans had no idea what a molecule was.

I look back on that moment as my wake-up call and 15 years later it still echoes in my mind like a mantra every time I sit down to write a piece. Define your terms. Don't use technical words when simpler ones will do. Don't assume that your audience knows the meaning of words you take for granted. "You have to lean over backward to avoid jargon," says Richard M. Restak, M.D., professor of neurology at George Washington University, who has written extensively for the public.

It's okay to call a neuron "a nerve cell in the brain" and a neurotransmitter "a chemical that carries information from one brain cell to another." And don't give up on writing about basic science research. More heartening studies show that 40 percent of the adult public does want to learn more about science; many studies show that people are especially interested in how the brain works.

"I have the naive idea that all science can be communicated," the physicist and Nobel laureate Leon Lederman, Ph.D., once said. "You can make the most exotic science understandable... without having to give all of the details."

Avoid getting so wrapped up in describing the details of the trees that you forget about the forest. Focus on explaining just the gist of your topic. "Whenever I write something," says Dr. Restak, "it has to pass the 'so-what test.'" He says he always tries to imagine himself in layman's shoes. "You have to ask, 'What is this really all about?'"

In a graduate-level science writing course taught by Joann Rodgers, director of media relations for the Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions, students have to describe the game of baseball-without using any jargon-to a group of Martians visiting the earth. The students, reports Rodgers, always do a thorough job of describing the physical details of the game, such as "pillow-like objects placed equidistantly" and "a spherical object thrown at 70-90 mph by an upright biped." But, says Rodgers, "In their zeal to recount the facts of baseball, they leave out the essence of the game that has attracted and kept generations of players and fans. 'Fun!' I want to yell at them. Baseball is fun!"

Rodgers believes that by shrinking from writing about basic science research, we "withhold from the public the essence of science no less than my students denied their Martians the essence of baseball."

Effective popular writing doesn't always have to be "gee-whiz" to grab readers by the throat, or to have an immediate practical application. "The big challenge for the scientist/writer," according to Restak, "is to communicate your enthusiasm for what you do."

Communicating with the lay public, though essential, is not always easy. But better communication will attract more fans - and ultimately more funders. Below, some nuts and bolts advice for aspiring popularizers, a dozen do's and don'ts of good science writing:

2. Take the time to fashion an engaging lead.
Does the first sentence make the reader want to continue reading? "When it's two-o'clock in the morning, and you're manic, even the UCLA Medical Center has a certain appeal," is the opening sentence of Dr. Kay Jamison's riveting and revealing book, An Unquiet Mind.

5. Use quotes and even snippets of conversations.
Dialogue can also work well to keep readers interested. In his book, Memory: Remembering and Forgetting in Everyday Life, instead of merely explaining the results of a bizarre neuropsychological test, Barry Gordon recreates snippets of his actual conversation with the patient. He writes that "she had trouble defining 'ball.'" "You know, it's that thing that you bounce." "Anything else about it?" "Well, it's usually made out of rubber." "Anything else?" "No."

6. Explain how your information can help the reader personally.
Dr. Gordon begins one of his chapters in Memory with "What can people with superior memories teach us about our own?" Especially remember that most of what you have to say enables your readers to communicate better with their doctors, friends, and family members about brain-related matters.

7. Use metaphors, concrete images, and comparisons to give the reader perspective.
A phrase such as "an area the size of a dime" will paint an instant picture for readers; using the phrase "about 1.5 centimeters" may baffle them. But if you do need to give a measurement and you are writing for an American readership, stick to inches and feet rather than metric units. When giving statistics, such as the success rate of a new medical procedure, compare it to other similar procedures to help the reader put it into perspective.

Finally, try to help the reader visualize abstract concepts by using metaphors. Memory, for example, describes the brain's immediate memory system as "a kind of echo chamber within your head" that temporarily stores what you hear.

8. Use graphics to make your points clearer and more reader-friendly.
Work with editors to develop sidebars, bulleted lists, pull-out quotes. Numbers can also be attention-grabbers. That's why magazines so often use cover lines like "Ten Myths About Memory" or "Five Things You Should Know About Prozac."

9. Turn passive verbs into active ones.
Instead of writing "It has been found...," say "Scientists have discovered..." It can make the difference between "live" copy and "dead" copy.

10. Pay close attention to verbs - use colorful, lively ones.
Find substitutes for the verb "to be." You can't always avoid using the words "is," "was," and "were," but when you look for more descriptive (and often more precise) substitutes, you'll be amazed at how your writing will come alive. For example, when the late Carl Sagan wrote in The Dragons of Eden about the most primitive, inner layer of the brain, he didn't say "the dinosaurs are still there." Instead he wrote, "the dinosaurs thunder still."

11. Study good science writing.
Tuesday's "Science Times" section of The New York Times consistently publishes excellent science articles that popularize without talking down to readers. Analyze what makes it so readable, and incorporate what you've learned into your own efforts.

12. If none of this sounds like fun, hire a co-author!
The most important tip of all: Don't attempt to write a book or article on your own if popular writing is not your thing. "It's not that easy for us," says Bruce McEwen, who wrote his book with Harold Schmeck, then science editor of The New York Times. "My advice is to collaborate with a writer. Most of us need to work with writers who can help see the information on a different level. We want to explain all of the science because it's so interesting, but we have to learn when to stop. That's where the writer helps."

"The more of these collaborations we can foster, the better," says Dr. McEwen. "And when it's the right mix, it's really enjoyable."